10 Ways to ANNOY a Southern Utahn Like a Pro!

The Classic “How Many Wives?” Joke:
It’s the same old joke that people who have never set foot in Utah love to crack, assuming you’ve never heard it before. Honestly though, Utah is probably one of the most anti-polygamy places in the whole country at this point.

The “Dixie” Controversy:
St. George has been called “Dixie” for what feels like centuries. Now, some folks who’ve recently moved here think it’s offensive and want to change it. I once mentioned my thoughts on this, and a local business owner wasn’t happy, so I’ll just leave it at this: Dixie isn’t going anywhere.

The “It’s Gunna Ask You A Few Questions”:
I just got a hot chocolate, and now the iPad wants to ask me a few things? I’m pretty sure I know where this is headed—”Would you like to leave a 40%, 50%, or maybe a 75% tip?” NEW RULE: If we’re ordering while standing or at a drive-thru, tipping isn’t really necessary. I think that’s a fair approach.

Calling St. George “St. Geezy”:
This one’s a Southern Utah thing. Whenever someone refers to St. George as “St. Geezy,” you can bet they probably don’t live in St. George.

The Overly Pushy Sales Guy:
A lot of those aggressive sales guys come from Utah, but we deal with them here, too. Some are so pushy they won’t even let you close your door, and the “No Soliciting” signs? It’s like a challenge to them. I’ve heard they think those signs mean, “Try harder!” That’s seriously messed up.

Criticizing Someone’s Religion:
In Utah, locals tend to look out for one another. Sure, there are plenty of jokes about Mormons and other religions, but generally speaking, people don’t tolerate making fun of what others hold sacred.

Public Displays of Affection:
Utah is where 18-year-olds seem to get married by the dozen. So yes, public displays of affection—like making out in church—are pretty common here. From hugging to playing with each other’s hair, we get it, you’re in love, but maybe take it somewhere else.

The Myth About Utah’s Drivers:
People love to say Utah has the worst drivers, but I’ve traveled quite a bit and encountered way worse—especially in California! California drivers are fast, reckless, and cut people off constantly. Utah might drive a little slower, but they’re definitely not the worst. According to World Population Review, the worst drivers are actually in Mississippi, North Dakota, California, Florida, and Nevada.

“Utah Is Full of Old People” Myth:
Contrary to popular belief, Utah isn’t overflowing with old people. In fact, would it surprise you to know that Utah is actually the youngest state in the entire country? Yep, it’s true!

Mispronouncing “Zion”:
Every state has its quirks, like when people say “Nuh-Vaw-Duh” for Nevada. But here, it’s “Zion” like “lion,” not “ZY-ON.” Please, just get it right.